We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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