I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
