okay pat passed out under dana's car
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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