You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
