Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
