thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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