Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
