you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
