Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
