So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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