Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
