I could make wine with my vomit
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
