My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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