So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
