cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
