i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
