I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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