I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
