I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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