Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
