Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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