Kiss
Puke
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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