Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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