Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize