Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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