Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
