i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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