It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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