I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
