His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
