I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
