Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
