so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
