Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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