I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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