im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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