If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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