I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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