So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
