do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize