Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
