u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Randomize
