he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
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