who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
