Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
