Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize