8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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