hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
