They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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