Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
