so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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