she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
