I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
