my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So much Jack, so little girl.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
