ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
