Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
