Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish i was in the wii world.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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