There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
