The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
