i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
