Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
