Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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