suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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