did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
