i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
